Notes
September 9, 2018 at 7:17 PM

HI MORTAL

HI MORTAL I LEARNED HOW TO USE YOUR PHONE! YOU ARE RATHER WEIRD OF A MORTAL BUT I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT YOU ARE ALL LIKE THIS HOW DO I TURN OFF THE LARGE TEXTING OF THINGS DID I BREAK YOUR PHONE AGAIN THIS IS A NEW PHONE I WAS TOLD I CRUSHED THE LAST ONE WITH MY fiSt anD tHaT thiNgs Got BettEr wheN a NeW sMalL talKinG ComPutEr wAS pUrchAsed!!!!!!

OkAy I thInk I brOkE thIs thIng AgAIn sO I wILL try my bEst nOt tO wAIt I dId nOt brEAk It It wOrks! OkAy okay oh the happy loud text went away i am sad emoji

okay hello mortal i am fandral the dashing! the best swordsman you shall ever meet! thor tells me lady sif is here but i have not seen her yet, i fear she may be angry with me! i do fear her, she's a bit of a feisty one! do not tell thor i have said this about his lady!

i am asgardian! please stop fighting me it makes my head hurt! i heart you! HAPPY EMOJI i do not know how to use these emojis

BYE!

Greeting
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Voicemail
Christina Bird

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September 12, 2018 at 11:34 PM

Hi, it's Christina. Can you make sure you call me back this time? Joe, I hired you because of your dependability, and you just don't seem on top of the ball right now. If I'm gonna win this divorce case, I need you to be good. And you know...I...need you. So. Call me back. Bring the camera.
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Notes
September 13, 2018 at 7:17 PM

Note to Myself If I Ever Wake Up From Hell

You stupid fucking Asgardian ASSHOLE can you stop fucking up my life please? And can you PLEASE STOP FUCKING MY EX?! I swear to God, if I wake up and you

WHY ARE YOU SWEARING TO GOD MORTAL DO YOU SUDDENLY BELIEVE I THOUGHT YOU DID NOT BELIEVE I

Can you please stay out of my note to myself that...makes me sound more crazy than I already do. Fuck it. Forget it.

I CAN FUCK IT IF YOU WANT MORTAL I CAN

oh god no please stop

Instagram
joedashing
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joedashing LOOK I HAVE FOUND FRIENDS THAT I KNOW OF SEE MORTAL I HAVE FRIENDS YOU SHOULD GET OUT MORE HAPPY EMOJI WE HAVE THE SAME FRIENDS HAPPY CHEER EMOJI BEER EMOJI IS THERE A THUNDER EMOJI OR WARRIOR EMOJI THAT DOES NOT LOOK WEIRD QUESTION EMOJI
5 DAYS AGO
joedashing
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joedashing WHY IS THIS DOG NOT A BEAR CONFUSED EMOJI BEAR EMOJI DOG EMOJI
6 DAYS AGO
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LADY OF THE NIGHT!

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September 18, 2018 at 11:35 PM

Hey baby, last night was so much fun! Let's get together again, and we can play more God and Goddess, I'm really digging the whole "I am from Asgard" roleplay you had going on! Call me! You won't even have to pay me this time, cause god I need you again.
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Veronica Jones

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September 20, 2018 at 11:35 PM

Hey...this is Veronica from last night? I put my number in your phone...well can you please call me? Because god, I'd really like to get to know you more, and....last night was the best sex I've had in a while, so...call me? Please?
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